What do I write? How can words describe or even explain what has happened in the last 2 days?
My cousin Stef has gone to be with the Lord. Late Thursday night she (and her husband) were out driving and had an accident, killing her and leaving him injured.
My uncle called us between 8:30-9:00 AM (yesterday) after Nick Garland from FBC, Broken Arrow and Stef's pastor had gone to my aunt & uncle's house to tell them the news...
It's been a tough couple of days...Why? Why? Why? God knows. We don't. It was time for Stef to go home to be with her Savior. That's all we know, that's all we can understand right now.
It came as a shock and devastated us all because things were looking so good. He was going to get his master's degree in May and their baby was due in 3 weeks - on April 26th.
When my grandparents and I had gotten over to my aunt and uncle's house around 10:30-11 AM yesterday, I could tell God had already begun to change lives. My uncle was very open and honest, saying that God had a purpose for all this and that with His help, we'd all get through it.
What do I remember about Stef? I remember her smile, her laughs, her hugs. I remember her sweet spirit and never-ending love. She never spoke a lot.
Stef was there to listen. To understand. I remember the notes that she would write to me. I remember how she would always ask how I was doing and what I was up to, whether or not I asked her how she was doing. She related well with our grandfather, primarily because of her spiritual maturity. God has led her down so many roads in her 30 years of living here and she sought to do His will down each one of them.
I want to be like that. To give and not expect anything in return. To walk with Jesus each and every day. To know Him more. To share in every way and in everything that I do how great He is and what He has done in my life.
I remember the times she, my cousin Ronnie, and I would do the airplane thing and let me lay on their feet as they lifted me up in the air. The necklaces she would make out of bubble gum wrappers.
I remember the time when I was sick and ended up spending the day with my aunt Dody. We went to see Stef at work and had lunch at Mazzio's in Jenks. I had one of those personal pan pepperoni pizzas.
Most recently, I remember her asking me about school...She asked me if I was ready or excited and I kind of shrugged my shoulders. She giggled and chuckled and gave me a strange look that made me realize that I should really be excited if I knew this was really the right thing.
Well, because of her and her genuine concern and love, I questioned my returning (to the same school). Through what she had said, what I had learned from (a friend), circumstances, and studying the Word of God, I simply knew (going back to the same school) was out of the question and that Tulsa was where I needed to be.
And maybe this is why I'm here now...God knows why. He always has. He always will. It's in His hands and I want to keep it that way!
From my jounal two weeks later on Saturday, April 18: ...We found out a couple days ago that Stef had led another young lady to the Lord on Thursday night before she was killed. Now that is cool!...
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